i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Apparently you make a good broom.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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