shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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