no, he came in my armpit
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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