I think my fart just growled at me.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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