I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
