dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
