Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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