He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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