Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
