I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
A bitchslap is in order.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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