HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
