need another drink. this is the easiest way
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
