when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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