Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize