Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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