I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
