My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
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