We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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