His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
