I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
