We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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