just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
