69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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