i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
