mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
