dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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