Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
