cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
