is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
