Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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