Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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