Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I need moral support for this bender
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
