Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
