So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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