last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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