he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
