i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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