That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
