I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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