just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
