apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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