you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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