My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
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I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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