ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize