Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
