I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
