she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
