I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
