3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize