haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
