see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
