You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
