you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize