I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
