You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
