You're earring is so big in my mouth
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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