Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
