I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Less talking, more tequila
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize