woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
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