I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
