I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
