hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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