1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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